The Matchmaker
by nashi-hime
Summary: Kira isn't quite sure how to treat Momo on their date. Lucky for him, Captain Ichimaru is there to back him up!


Fanfiction of July fourteen, written on the date of my parents' anniversary

Fanfiction of July fourteen, written on the date of my parents' anniversary. Happy Anniversary, mom and dad! And to the readers, enjoy the story!

……….

"Hello? Anybody home?" Momo asked, knocking on Third Division's door.

"Can I help you, Hinamori-san?" a voice asked behind Momo, causing her to jump as she turned around.

"I-Ichimaru-taichou?! Y-You scared me…" she stammered.

"Nonsense. Why would I want to scare my little replacement?"

"I-I'm not your replacement; you became a captain when I…joined…fifth…company…" Her words stopped; something about Gin Ichimaru and his smile made her think she shouldn't say another word.

"Hmm? What's that; nothing more to say?" said Ichimaru, putting on one of his uncharacteristic frowns. "Anyway, are you looking for somebody?"

"Um…D-Do you know where Kira-kun is?"

"Oh, yes, he's in my office…" resuming his smile and waving over his shoulder as he walked down the porch.

Momo opened the door to find Kira sitting at his vice-captains desk, looking very frazzled.

"Do you need help, Kira-kun?"

"Oh, Momo-chan, no, I don't need help…"

"But if I can help you, then maybe we can…you know…hangout?" Momo suggested. Kira looked up.

"Hangout? You mean, like a date?"

"Well, would you like a date?"

"Um, sure. How about that new restaurant and tea place' the Najika? I-I hear it's pretty good…" Kira said, blushing.

"S-sure…" Momo said, also blushing as she left.

"So, first date, Kira-kun? Need any help?"

"Oh, Ichimaru-taichou…you surprised me."

"Yeah, I seem to be doing that a lot lately…"

"Oh, sorry. What did you mean by 'help', anyway?"

"You know. Help. With your date. Women can be tricky, ya know…"

"But, as far as I know, you've only dated Matsumoto-san…"

"Yeah, but she's practically three women in one…plus an extra two, if you catch my drift…" Ichimaru giggled. Kira blushed frantically. "Now…listen to me carefully…" Gin said, standing in front of the desk where Kira was seated.

"Okay, lesson one, Izuru-kun; big words. I don't know why, but women young and old-"

"Are you calling Matsumoto-san old; and thus yourself?"

"No…Anyway, I don't know why they like big words. Must reflect the size of your-"

"Stop!" Kira yelled. "I get it! Anyway, what's next... ?"

"Oh, sorry…" Gin said, blushing and, yet again, uncharacteristically frowning again. "Lesson two; dress nice. Comb your hair, for gosh sakes…"

"But I do comb my-"

"More like mine, I mean. I mean; I did get Matsumoto's breasts, after all. Well, while they were still on her…" Gin chuckled to himself, lost in his own fantasy. "Lesson three. Don't act too stuck up, but not too quiet either. Let her talk, but make sure you talk, respond, ask her about her feelings, blah, blah, blah… Actually, save that last one for after you get married…" Kira blushed again, thinking of him and his one true love, dating, kissing, blushing, being married, having babies, doing the…well… He blushed again.

"Okay, you're blushing, so you must be thinking about Momo-chan. Time to go!" Gin said, grabbing Kira's jacket, slinging it on him, and shoving him out the door.

"My little baby…" Gin said, once Kira was gone. "All grown up…going to grab him some woman…"

…

"Oh, hi Kira…" Momo said when Kira met her in front of the restaurant.

"H-hi…Momo-chan. You look pretty tonight…"

"But…I look the same…"

"Well, then I guess you must just be ravishing everyday!"

"Wow, such big words, who's you teacher?"

"Well, let's just say I respect him even more now that I did…" Kira said, wrapping his arm around her waist.

From behind a lantern, Gin Ichimaru smiled at himself, and at his pupil, even larger, that is.

……….

Wow, I never knew how many sex-references were in this until I finally re-read it…It's more of a comedy than a romance, really! Oh, and when my computer didn't recognize the word "Hinamori", the word "inamorato" came up, which, after a trip to dictionary . com, I realized it meant "a man with whom one is in love or has an intimate relationship". Weird, huh?


End file.
